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Showing posts from August, 2012


Do you know the first commercial for the olay cosmetics?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jab bhi koi ladki dekhun mera dil diwana bole... OLAY OLAY .... feat. Saif and Akshay :P


An indigenous example of speech and politics occured recently in the united nations assembly that made the world community smile. A representative from India began: "Before beginning my speech i want to tell u sumthing about rishi kashyap of Kashmir after whom Kashmir is named. when he found a beautiful lake,he thought 'what a good opportunity 2 take a bath', he removed his clothes, put them aside on d rock and entered d water. when he got out and wanted to dress,his clothes had vanished. a pakistani had stole them!" The pakistani representative jumped up furiously n shoutd "What r u talking about? the Pakistani weren't there then." Indian representative smiled and said, "And now that we have made that clear,i'll begin my speech. And they say kashmir belonged to them." Everbody laughed on it. Being an indian i simply love this msg..;)


A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "D d d doc, I've bbeen stttutering ffor yyyears and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp mmme?" The doctor says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on." So he examines him and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.." The guy says, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?" The doctor says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords.” The guy says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?" The doctor advises, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one." The guy says, "Dddeal.....Dddo it!" The guy has the operation and six weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it


Ustad Chodumal Khan Sahab Ne Arz Kiya Hai Aayi Thi Meri Kabar Par Diya Jalaane Ke Liye, Gaur Kijiye, Aayi Thi Meri Kabar Par Diya Jalaane Ke Liye, Rakha Hua Tel Bhi Le Gayi, Suhagraat Manane Ke Liye


A Girl Returns Home After 30 Years. Father (Angry): “Where The Hell Have You Been All This Years?” Girl: “I Was Working As A Prostitute In The Vietnam” Father: “What? Get Out Of My House You Whore, I Don’t Want To See Your Face Again” Girl (Crying): “Before I Go Dad, I Came To Give You A $5 Million Cheque, And Here Is A $1million For My Brother. I Had Build A Big House For You In The Northern Surburbs With Evreything In It Including A Ferarri And A Bugatti. Bye Dad” Father (Smiling): “What Kind A Work You Said You Where Doing” Girl (Crying Out Loud): “A Prostitute Dad” Father: “Came And Give Daddy A Big Hug, I Thought You Said You Where A ”Prosecute‘‘


A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!" "Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything." The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves. Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."


A man to Judge - Judge sahab aaj tak kisine meri itni insult nahi ki.. par aaj meri padosan ne mujhe Nahate hue dekh liya ye theek nahi hain , I want justce. . Judge - To tum kya chahte ho bhai. . Man - Badlaa...


Ek Baar Pappu Ki Class Mein Biology Inspection Honi Hoti Hai. Madam Bachho Ki Samjhati Hai Ki Kal Tum Logo Se Kuch Questions Puche Jayenge, Jaise Ki, “Batao Sharir Ka Sabse Najuk Ang Kaun Sa Hai?” Sab Students Apne Hath Upar Kar Lete Hai Aur Ek Student Bolta Hai: “Aankhein” Madam: “Bahut Achhe, Par Aankhein Kyun?” Student: “Jab Koi Cheez Aankh Mein Chali Jati Hai, To Insaan Ki Marne Wali Haalat Ho Jaati Hai” Isi Tarah Baki Ke Students Bolte Hai Naak, Kaan Vagera Vagera. Pappu Ki Baari Aati Hai To Vo Bolta Hai: “Gaand” Madam Gusse Se Laal-Peeli Hokar: “Chupkar Besharam, Kal Mat Aana, Agar Aao To Apna Muh Mat Kholna” Agle Din Class Mein Inspector Aata Hai Aur Wohi Sawal Puch Leta Hai. Inspector: “Sharir Ka Sabse Najuk Ang Konsa Hai?” Sab Bache Class Mein Hath Upar Kar Lete Hai, Lekin Pappu Apna Hath Upar Nahi Karta, To Inspector Usse Puchta Hai: “Bache Aapko Iska Answer Nahi Pata Kya?” Isse Pahle Pappu Kuch Bolta Madam Inspector Ke Pas Gayi Aur Boli: “Ye Ek Bahut Hi Nalayak Bachha Hai, I