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Showing posts from February, 2013


Movie me emotional scene chal raha tha ke ek chota bachha jor jor se rone laga ... Pichhe se awaaj ayi " are madam aapka ek bubba iske mu me thoos do ..." bache ka baap ghussa hua aur chillaya " kaun hai be madarchoddd ???" Firse awaaj ayi "Dusra iske mu me bhi thooos do .."


meri ek choti si aakhri khwaish – iss duniya se judaa hone pe... Mujhe jala dena ya dafna dena, mere jaane par aasoon mat bahana.... maru to 1 ghoot beer pila dena, yaad mein meri ye baat yaad rakhna... dosti k naaam pe mein tajmahal nahi chahta dosto, . . . .. . . .. meri kabr par girls hostel bana dena!! :xD :P


Gand Pe Muhavre: 1.Gand Khujana : Chinta Karna 2.Gand Ghisna. : Mehnat karna 3.Gand Dikhana :Musibat Se bhagna 4.Gand Me Ungli Karna. : samasya Paida Karna. 5.Gand Jalna. : Irshya Karna 6.Gand Fatna. : Darr Jana 7.Gand Maarna. : Dushmani Nikalna 8.Gand Marwana. : Gulami Karna 9.Gand Me Titar Ka Bal : Bahut Zyada Active Hona. 10.Gand Pe LaatMaarna : Reject Karna 11.Gand Me Ghusna. : Chamcha Giri Karna 12.Gand Me Kida Hona : yeh to aap samajhate hi ho.... :P


Girl to Doctor: Sir, Pichle Abortion Mein Aapne Balade Mere Peat Mein He Chhod Diya Tha Doctor: Oh, I am sorry, Kuch Hua toh nahi na? Girl: Hua Na! Doctor: Kya?? Girl: Mere 7 boyfriend namard ho gaye! 4 gunge ho gaye! Aur 2 ki toh Oongli he cut gayi :D = :p


Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary. Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future. After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

एक बार एक शिक्षक कक्षा में बच्

एक बार एक शिक्षक कक्षा में बच्चों को हिंदी पढ़ाने जाते हैं। शिक्षक: बच्चों अब आप सब मुझे हिंदी का एक एक दोहा सुनाओगे, तो चलो बंटी तुमसे शुरू करते हैं। बंटी: मास्टर जी चिड़िया बैठी पेड़ पर उसने दिया मूत, पप्पू की माँ की चूत। बंटी की बात सुन शिक्षक भी जोर-जोर से हंसने लग पडा और पप्पू का मज़ाक उड़ाने लगा, और बंटी को शाबाशी देते हुए पप्पू से बोला, "हाँ भाई पप्पू है कोई बंटी की बात का जवाब तेरे पास अगर है तो बोल।" अपना मज़ाक उड़ता देख पप्पू को गुस्सा आ गया तो वह बोला, "मास्टरजी कबूतर बैठा पेड़ पर और उसने दिया मूत, बंटी की माँ लौड़ा . . . शिक्षक: अरे यह भी कोई बात बनी इस दोहे का तो कोई सिर पैर ही नहीं है। पप्पू: अरे मास्टर जी आपने अभी पूरा सूना ही कहाँ है ज़रा ध्यान दीजिये, " कबूतर बैठा पेड़ पर और उसने दिया मूत, बंटी की माँ का लौड़ा और मास्टर की माँ की चूत।


Husband: “Honey, Why Is Broken Condom Lying On The Sofa?” Wife Tensed: “Where?” She Goes Out To Check And Returns Wife: "For God Sake Stop Calling Our Son A Broken Condom"


Ek Banda ek Ladki ko cafe mein akele baitha dekh kar ladki ki table par gaya aur kaha: "kya main aap ke saath baith sakta hoon??" Ladki (Chillai): nahin, main aaj raat tumhare saath nahin guzaar sakti... !!!! sab log dekhne lage....Banda sharminda ho gaya.... kuch der baad Ladki uske paas gayi aur maafi mangi aur kaha: "Main HUMAN NATURE ke upar study kar rahi hoon aur padh rahi hoon ke log sharminda ho kar kya mehsoos karte hai" Banda(Chillaya): What...?? 10 Hazar ek raat ke.. bahut zyada hain,.. kuch kam karo yaar.... sab log ladki ko dekhkar hasne lage.... Aur phir Jaat aahista se bola: - " Ab mehsoos kar khul ke....!!!!


A man was having sex with his boss wife at her house When suddenly thieves broke in. The man went out of the house running as fast as he could to his house. When he arrived home, his wife asked, "why are you naked ??"..... The man replied, "well, i was attacked by thieves on my way home, they took everything from me".... Wife,"so why is a condom on your penis ??".... Man, "well, as a grown up man, i couldn't run home completely naked. i had to cover some parts."


a guy goes to a doctor and i want to get castrated. the Doc says: young lad are you a major life altering operation u better be sure about it.... the guy assures the doc that it is exactly what he wants... 3 days later he is walking in the ward with his legs wide open and he finds another guy walking in the opposite direction but in the same awkward manner. the guy says: hey buddy u got the same operation done as i did? the other guy says: i dont know..i just got a circumcision... the first guy goes::SHITTT!! that was the word!!!


An engineer ws gettin married. 3 young ladies offrd 2 marry him. He hd 2 make choice, so he tested dem by givng 50k each 2 spend. 1 bought new dresses n said she wantd 2 luk gud 4 him. 2nd got him few shirts & ties n perfumes n said she wantd him 2 luk gud. 3rd investd d money in shares. Got profit & returned him original amt, sayin dat she saved d rest for deir future. finally he decided 2 marry d lady who hd D bigger boobs!! Men will be men:-P


Why are Indian students are disliked in USA? It was the first day of a school in the USA & a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade classroom... The teacher said: Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'? He saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up & said: Patrick Henry, 1775! "Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?'' Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar: Abraham Lincoln, 1863! The teacher snapped at the class: Class! You should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do. She heard a loud whisper: F*** the Indians! 'Who said that?', she demanded. Chandrasekhar: General Custer, 1862. At that point, a student in the back said: I'm gonna puke! The teacher glares around & asks


A hippie sits nxt 2 a nun on the bus n asks her if he could have sex with her. She said "NO! I am married to god !!" and gets off the bus disgusted. The bus driver said "she(nun) prays every tuesday at midnight at the grave-yard, why dnt u dress up in a hooded robe, go to the grave-yard, tell her you are god n demand sex?". The hippie tries dis and to his surprise the nun said " yes but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity". they have passionate bum sex and wen dey were done the hippie throws off his robe and cries " ha ha ha, i'm the hippie,!!!!!!. the nun cries out " ha ha ha, i'm the BUS DRIVER !!!!!!!".