KhattaCorp

"Girlfriend aisi honi chahiye jis ki god me sir rakho to us ka chehra nazar na aaye!" ;) Jisko samaj aye, girlfriend search kare, Baki Bache pogo dekhe.

The best example for incredible india is "one has to check both side while crossing even a oneway road..!! :D :D

A Boy propose a Girl... Boy : I Love U... Girl : Tumne Mujme Aisa Kya Dekha Ki Mujhe Propose Kar Diya ??? Boy : Sab Kuch Dekhne Ke Liye Hi Toh Propose Kiya Hai Pagli...!! :p =))

Pati: jaan aaj mood ho raha hai.. Wife: nahi aaj nahi Pati: aajao yaar. Wife: nahi na Child: papa muth maar k so jao bakchodi mat karo subah school jana hai.

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Go to Google.com Search for "Italian Bar girl in India" See the first result...

1 garib ladke ko chirag mila.. Usne Uthaya aur Ragad Diya.. Zordaar Dhamaka Hua.. Khud Mar Gaya, Aas Paas 9 Ki Gaand Fatt Gai, 15 Ke laude lag Gaye & 20 log apne goti kho baithe... "Alladin ka Zamana gaya chutiyoo.. Lawaris cheezo se door raho" kuch cheezein aladdin ki nahi Mujahideen ki hoti hain' -

Boy & Grl Alone in a Car. Grl: aaj main tumhe wo Jagah dikhugi jaha se mera dudh ata hai Boy gets Xcited, Grl: ye dekho Papu di dairy.

Pappu Pinki ko pasand karta hai, Aur Pinki Papu k bhai ko Lekin Papu k bhai ko Pinki ki behan achi lagti hai, Aur Pinki ki behan Papu ko pasnd karti hai. Hala k Papu pehle hi Pinki ko chahta hai. Ab jab k Pinki ko Papu acha nahi lagta, Aur Papu ka bhai Pinki k liye razi nai hai, Aur Papu Pinki ki behn se pyar nahi karta. Jab k Pinki ki behn ko Papu ka bhai acha nahin lagta. To ye unka personal prob hai, Aap kyu apne dimag ki maa-bhen karte ho. Apna kaam karane , phir janta jaaye g**nd marane.....

Girl: “I Have Eyes, Just Like My Mom” Boy: “You Also Have Boobs Like Your Dad” Girl: “My Dad Doesn’t Have Boobs” Boy: “Exactly“

Wat is the URDU word 4 a woman who is showing her BREAST.. Socho.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . KHUL - E - AAM ( . ) ( . )

After many years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform his duties as a husband between the sheets. He goes to his doctor, tries a few things, but nothing works. “It’s all in your mind,” says the doctor, and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits, the shrink confesses: “I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.” The psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor. The witch doctor says: “I can cure this.” He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. “This is powerful healing, but you can use it once a year,” says the witch doctor. “All you have to do is say ‘123′ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!” The guy then asks the witch doctor: “What happens when it’s over?” The witch doctor says: “All you or your partner has to say is ‘1234′ and it will go down. But be warned; after that it will not work again for a year!” The guy goes home, and that night he is so excited and anxious to surprise his wife. They get i...

Do you know the first commercial for the olay cosmetics?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jab bhi koi ladki dekhun mera dil diwana bole... OLAY OLAY .... feat. Saif and Akshay :P

An indigenous example of speech and politics occured recently in the united nations assembly that made the world community smile. A representative from India began: "Before beginning my speech i want to tell u sumthing about rishi kashyap of Kashmir after whom Kashmir is named. when he found a beautiful lake,he thought 'what a good opportunity 2 take a bath', he removed his clothes, put them aside on d rock and entered d water. when he got out and wanted to dress,his clothes had vanished. a pakistani had stole them!" The pakistani representative jumped up furiously n shoutd "What r u talking about? the Pakistani weren't there then." Indian representative smiled and said, "And now that we have made that clear,i'll begin my speech. And they say kashmir belonged to them." Everbody laughed on it. Being an indian i simply love this msg..;)

Urgent Phone karna hai...

us insaan se zyaada badnaseeb is Dunia me kaun Hoga... . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . Jiski maggi me masala na nikle !! :D

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "D d d doc, I've bbeen stttutering ffor yyyears and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp mmme?" The doctor says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on." So he examines him and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.." The guy says, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?" The doctor says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords.” The guy says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?" The doctor advises, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one." The guy says, "Dddeal.....Dddo it!" The guy has the operation and six weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it ...

Quiz me final Sawaal Puchha gaya- Tum Kisi Sunder Ladki Ke Ander Sabse Zyada Kya Dekhna Pasand Karte Ho? Award Winning Answer-" APNA L#nd.."

Ustad Chodumal Khan Sahab Ne Arz Kiya Hai Aayi Thi Meri Kabar Par Diya Jalaane Ke Liye, Gaur Kijiye, Aayi Thi Meri Kabar Par Diya Jalaane Ke Liye, Rakha Hua Tel Bhi Le Gayi, Suhagraat Manane Ke Liye

A Girl Returns Home After 30 Years. Father (Angry): “Where The Hell Have You Been All This Years?” Girl: “I Was Working As A Prostitute In The Vietnam” Father: “What? Get Out Of My House You Whore, I Don’t Want To See Your Face Again” Girl (Crying): “Before I Go Dad, I Came To Give You A $5 Million Cheque, And Here Is A $1million For My Brother. I Had Build A Big House For You In The Northern Surburbs With Evreything In It Including A Ferarri And A Bugatti. Bye Dad” Father (Smiling): “What Kind A Work You Said You Where Doing” Girl (Crying Out Loud): “A Prostitute Dad” Father: “Came And Give Daddy A Big Hug, I Thought You Said You Where A ”Prosecute‘‘

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!" "Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything." The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves. Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

A man to Judge - Judge sahab aaj tak kisine meri itni insult nahi ki.. par aaj meri padosan ne mujhe Nahate hue dekh liya ye theek nahi hain , I want justce. . Judge - To tum kya chahte ho bhai. . Man - Badlaa...

today is the day Sunny leone officially moves from the laptops/desktops of most of us, 2 the big screen of bollywood :P only in India!!!!!!

Question : Why do girls close their eyes while kissing a guy? Guess Guess . . . Answer : Yeh ladkiyan ladkon ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.

Ek Baar Pappu Ki Class Mein Biology Inspection Honi Hoti Hai. Madam Bachho Ki Samjhati Hai Ki Kal Tum Logo Se Kuch Questions Puche Jayenge, Jaise Ki, “Batao Sharir Ka Sabse Najuk Ang Kaun Sa Hai?” Sab Students Apne Hath Upar Kar Lete Hai Aur Ek Student Bolta Hai: “Aankhein” Madam: “Bahut Achhe, Par Aankhein Kyun?” Student: “Jab Koi Cheez Aankh Mein Chali Jati Hai, To Insaan Ki Marne Wali Haalat Ho Jaati Hai” Isi Tarah Baki Ke Students Bolte Hai Naak, Kaan Vagera Vagera. Pappu Ki Baari Aati Hai To Vo Bolta Hai: “Gaand” Madam Gusse Se Laal-Peeli Hokar: “Chupkar Besharam, Kal Mat Aana, Agar Aao To Apna Muh Mat Kholna” Agle Din Class Mein Inspector Aata Hai Aur Wohi Sawal Puch Leta Hai. Inspector: “Sharir Ka Sabse Najuk Ang Konsa Hai?” Sab Bache Class Mein Hath Upar Kar Lete Hai, Lekin Pappu Apna Hath Upar Nahi Karta, To Inspector Usse Puchta Hai: “Bache Aapko Iska Answer Nahi Pata Kya?” Isse Pahle Pappu Kuch Bolta Madam Inspector Ke Pas Gayi Aur Boli: “Ye Ek Bahut Hi Nalayak Bachha Hai, I...

My sympathy with Randeep Hoda & Arunoday Singh after watching the "Jism 2" Promo..!! Poor Guys kissed those lips which have sucked so many Dicks!! :P :D

Ek Ladki Rote Hue Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Doctor Ne Usko Dekha Aur Pucha. Doctor: “Arrey Tumhare Hont Kaisi Fatte?” Ladki: “Ji Kiss Karte Hue” Doctor Hairan Se: “Kiss Karte Hue Hont Itne Buri Tarha Se To Nahi Fatt Sakte?” Ladki: “Ji Main Usko Kiss Kar Rahi Thhi, Kisi Ne Darwaje Par Knock Kiya Aur Usne Gabra Ke Pant Ki Zip Band Kar Li“

What is the similarity between a woman’s breast and a park??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Actually both were designed for children but adults enjoy them more

Ek sardar ka bura din . darwaja khola kundi hath mein , nal khola tonty hath mein , sutcase uthya handle hath mein . . ... .. . . ab dar raha hai ki su su karu ki na karu....?Ek sardar ka bura din . darwaja khola kundi hath mein , nal khola tonty hath mein , sutcase uthya handle hath mein . . ... .. . . ab dar raha hai ki su su karu ki na karu....?

Beti - Main maa ban ne wali hu. Maa-kamini, Kaha jaake chudva k aayi he?Kiska lund muh me leke aayi he?Kis ki lassi chut me bharwa k aayi he?Padhne ki umar me kaha gand marva kaayi he ? Bol warna chut me cement dal k pack kar dungi.. Beti(rote hue)- School k natak Me "MAA" ban ne wali hu..:D

PAPPU U.S.A. se apni maa ko phone krta hai. Pappu :- Maa muze AIDS ho gaya hai. Maa :- Tu wapas mat aana BETA Pappu :- Kyo maa ? Maa :- Agar tu aaya to Teri BIWI ko AIDS hoga, Teri BIWI se tere BHAI ko Tere BHAI se NOKRANI ko, NOKRANI se tere PAPA ko, Tere PAPA se teri MAUSI ko, Teri MAUSI se tere MOUSA ko, Tere MOUSA se Muze, muz se hamare DRIVER ko, driver se teri Bahen ko Or Agar teri bahen ko hua to sare GAON ko ho jayega.! Gaon ko bacha le beta. ;):P=

If sex between 3 people is called a 'threesome', and between 2 people is called a 'twosome' ...then you can understand why all men are called 'handsome'...X_X

Santa Sadak(road) Ke Kinare Baith Ke Patthar Tod Raha Tha... Achanak Santa 6 Fit Hawa Me Uchla. Aur Hawa Me Usne 2-3 Bar Palti Mari. Ek Aadmi Dekh Kar Bahut Khush Hua, Aur 500Rs De Kar Dubara Karne Ko Kaha... Santa Bola: Benchod...500 Kya 5,00,000 Bhi Dega, Fir Bhi Dubara lode Pe Hathoda Kabhi Nhi Marunga....... :P

You can predict any Girl’s future by just touching & feeling her BUTTOCKS..!! This DIVINE Knowledge is called.. ASS-TR0LOGY!!

Girl: I had sex with 2 boys and you had sex with 8 girls,but everybody calls me prostitute.. and they call you a play boy.. Please explain me why? Boy: When a lock is opened by many keys, It becomes a bad lock! But when a key opens many locks, It becomes master key,,,,,!!!

Santa ne nokia ka sbse bdi screen wala ph. Lia.. . . Kyu?? . . . Kyunki wo dkhna chahta tha ph switch on hone pe kaun 2 log hath milate h!:p

Ek Ladki Ki Mochi Se Shadi Hui Suhagrat Ke Agle Din Dulhan Ki Saheli ne Us Se Pucha. Saheli: “Bata Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?” Dulhan Gusse Se: “Ghanta Rahi, Usne Aate Hi Meri Choot Aur Gaand Dono seal Kar Diye Aur Bola, Aur Bata kaha kaha Fatti Hai?“

Chalu Baba Ek Dukhi Lady Baba Ke Pas Gayi Aur Boli Lady: “Baba Mere Pati Kab Sudhrenge?” Baba: “Pati Ko Laye Ho?” Lady: “Nahi.” Baba: “Koi Baat Nahi, Apna Blouse Kholiye” Lady: “Kyun?” Baba: “Bachha, Pati Ki Hath Ki Rekhayein Dekhni Hai Na“

Pappu Ka Ek Dost Tha Golu Ek Din Dono Baatein Kar Rahe The To Golu Ne Pappu Se Puchha Golu: “Jab Girls Car Me Seat Belt Bandhti Hain To Kaisa Dikhta Hai?” Pappu: “Percentage Ke Symbol Jaisa %“

Monday rat Sony SEX channel par dekhiye 8 pm-maniben ka BHOSDA 8.30-Tarak mehta ka ulta LUND 9-sajan re GAND mat MARO 9.30-jugani chali MAA CHUDANE 10-La pata LUND..

Chor ne dudhwale ko nanga kr k ped se bandh diya aur sari bhains le gya.. subah logo ne use khola to usne bhains ke bachde ko khub mara.. logo ne kaha is bejuban ko kyo marte ho? Dudhwala-ye madarchod 4mahine ka ho gya par gandu ko 'Than' aur 'Lund' me fark nhi malum,bhenchod ne Maa chod di raat bhar chus chus ke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9gfPGBsSck

Raja Saheb ke Marte Samay ki Nasihat . To Son: Apne Rishte ki Auraton se Jhuk Kar Mila Karo taaki Lund Dur rahe. To Daughter: Apni Bra Me Thodi Rui rakha karo taki Nipple nazar na aaye. To Damaad: Chodne aur khodne mein farak samjo, Chodne me zor aur khodne me shor, tum ulta karte ho. To Bahu: Gaand marwane se bache paida nai hote, aisa hota toh is forum ke sabhi readers ke kab se bache paida ho gaye hote.. :-P

Define PANTY: It is a romantic curtain that opens before a rhythmic performance & closes when 1 of the performers commonly named PAPPU dies happily after vomiting !

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!" O:) Father: "That's great son. Who is she?":D Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter";;) father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister. The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"♥♥ Father: "That's great son. Who is she?":D Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter. Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister." This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying. Son: "Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddys their father! The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever...

T awkward moment wen a GF cmes in trnsparent dress. . before BF n asks. . .pls look into my eyes n say u love me.

Sex karte Waqt Mard ki taqat ka Andaza Hiltey huay 'HIPS' se nahin Balki Ladki kay uchaltey huay 'BOOBS' se hota hai Aur sex ki shiddat ka andaza mard ke 'ZOR' se nahin Ladki ke 'SHOR' se hota hai.. From: Veena malik ki kitab: RANGEEN RAATON KI SANGEEN YAADEN Chapter: 07 Topic: Toofani Jhatkay..

A nurse enters Doctor's room. Doc- Tumhare boobs shirt se bahar kyon hai? Nurse - oh, ye medical students bhi na, cheez instemaal kar ke khuli chhod dete hain..

Boy1 - Mere dad itne lambe hain ki khade khade chalta fan rok dete hain. :p Boy2 - Mere papa b lambe hai par aisi Jhaantoo harkatein nahi karte :D :D

Boy on phone: if u can guess wht's hidden in my hand, I'll let u hv it. Girl: if u can hide it in 1 hand,then am nt interstd

Ek Ladki:- Doctor, Meri B(.)(.)BS bahut choti hain? Doctor:- Roz aana hoga. CHUS CHUS ke bade kar dunga. Ladki:- Theek hai. Apne Boy-Friend ko bhi le aaungi. Uski Lulli bhi Bhut choti hai.

Monkey takes Lady's bra and sits on tree. Lady shouts:- "Niche daal, pls niche daal" Monkey laughs & says:- "Besharam, shanti rakh, shuruwat Bra se hoti hai.."

Suhagraat Me Aaram Se Sex Hone Par Bhi Wife Jor Se Cheekhi Husband~"Cheekh Kyo Rhi Ho" . . Wife~"Bahar Tere Dost Khade Hai, Teri Izzat Badha Rhi Hu"...... :D

Wife Called Her Husband..!!! Wife : Honey,Where Are You? Husband : I`m At The Bank. Wife : Dear, Please I Need 3000 Bucks To Activate My Blackberry, 5000 To Do My Hair and facial And 20,000 To Buy A Dress. Husband : Sorry, I Meant I Was . . . . At The "Bank" Of A River. Do You Want Fish???

Tchr- bccho aj hum grammer pdnge 1 aurat 1 khidki se jhank rhi h boy-ye ekvachan hua Tchr- bahut si aurte khidkiyo se jhank rhi h. Boy- ye to BP(budhwar peth) hua.

Sperms inside penis talking to each other "Mai Engineer banuga" "Mai doctor" "Mai Hero banunga" Boy goes to toilet & masturbates! Sperms: bhenchod career ki maa chod di lodu ne....:P :P

Google also does masti when you type "Kaanmasti" and google asks "Did you mean: gaandmasti".....:P

Santa Banta ne had Kar di Santa: you know, India's population is 120 crores!! Banta: (shocked): what???? are you KIDDING??? Santa: nahi nahi, mai itne bachche paida nahi kar raha

A pole in the hole makes a new soul.

hahaha

A man ws gettin married 3 young ladies offerd2 marry him. He hd2 make choice,so he tested dem by gvng 5000 each2 spend. 1 bought new dresses n said she wantd2 luk gud4 him. 2nd got him few shirts &ties n perfumes n said she wantd him2 luk gud. 3rd investd d money in shares.Got profit & returned him original amt,sayin dat she saved d rest 4 deir future. finally he decided2 marry d lady who had.. .. .. The best boobs!!;) (Men wil b men.Always :)

Pogo dekho 3: Why girls are more hot than boys ‘coz boys have 2 zero watt bulbs and 1 40 watt tube-light girls have 2 500 watt bulbs and 1 3000 watt oven jisko samajh aaya like karo baaki pogo dekho...

Read it at ur own risk...!! Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime.... "1 is neither composite nor ... prime" --------------- Agar dava chahiye toh dhundo koi chemist.... My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST --------------- yuh khamosh reh kar tadpogi kabtak.... Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK.. --------------- Woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi, usse pana mein chahun.... ahun ahun ahun......... .ahun ahun ahun --------------- mehangai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo.. ek chutki bhar sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu... --------------- Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan... LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan. -------------- Emotional Shayari Arz kiya hai Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana A for Apple B for Banana WAH WAH!! ---------------Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ... Yashomati MaiyyaSe Bole Nandlala... "Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!" ---------------Romio ne juliet se kaha ek sac...

एक बच्चे ने एक लड़की को सेक्स के लिए कहा. लड़की बोली:- तुम इतने छोटे हो, मेरी जवानी का बोझ कैसे उठाओगे! बच्चा बोला:- डार्लिंग चूहा बोरी उठा नहीं सकता पर फाड़ तो सकता है!!!

सांता को एक दिन हिचकी आई और साथ में उसका लंड भी खड़ा हो गया सांता:- “अरे वाह लगता है बलबीर भाई के साथ भाभी जी भी याद कर रही है”

What would be the name of a Chinese girl who has lost her virginity? . . Lee Hui

whos actually guilty - in midnight Wife suddenly shouts mera pati aa gaya. while husband jumps off t window n ten realizez tat it was his house n his wife......

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Only Boys can understand this . . . . . Sun is not the only thing that rises in the morning ;-)

Tinkya rocks - Teacher - ek bhi homewok conplete nahi hain. Marks bhi poor hain. Most pathetic records in t whole class. Stupid. idiot.diwali vacation mein ghar pe kya kiya ? . . . . . . Tinkya - tera naam liya. Ooooo. Tuhe yaad kiya ooooo. Tuje yaad kiya . terA naam liya. Hws tat.

Q: wht did the cyclone say to the coconut tre??? A: u better hold on to your nuts baby, this ain't any ordinary bolwjob =)) :p

Chahat Hai Tu, Hasrat Hai Tu, Umeed Hai Tu, Takdir Hai Tu, Imaan Hai Tu, Yaar Hai Tu, Armaan Hai Tu. Short Form… “C.H.U.T.I.Y.A” Hai Tu.

Intelligent boy...................... Bus stop par Lrka Lrki Se Bola: Sendil To Bohut Achi Pehni Hai. Lrki: Utar Kr Dikhaon Kya? Lrka: Lo.... is Se Zyada Achi To >Qameez

It is said that inzamam don’t understand english. Once commentator asked, “Hay inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true?”. Inzi said, “Bismillah Hir Rahman Raheem first of all i thanks to Allah and then credit goes to all boys, they really worked hard especially afridi done very well. If they continue we can have another chance. ”.

Aankhon Main Haya Ho To Parda Dil Ka Hi Kaafi Hai, . . . Nahi To Naqaabon Se Bhi Hotay Hain Isharay chudai K…

Santa was feeling happy. After couple of seconds happy turned around and slapped Santa.;-)

EK ladki raste se ja rahe thi,Side se achanak Bike nikli!! Ladki: Oye maarega kya...?.... Rider Boy: Mood to nahi hai,par degi to mar lunga..

Wife: Aaj jab me BRA pahen rahi thi, tab parosi mujhe dekh raha tha. Husband: Toh tu ne kya kiya? Wife: Maine sharm se BRA se apna mu chupa lia.

Ek aawashyak soochna TITANIC 3D me woh wala scene kaat liya gaya hai jisme heroniya nude hoti hai aur leonardo uski sketch bana raha hota hai. Kisi bhi prakar ki galat fehmi aur afwahon pe dhyan na de

"i m not calling u slut but your vagina is used more then Google .."

Paapii waala joke . . . . . . . Perfume wala :- “sahab perfume lelo perfume . .” kanjus banda :- ” 25 paise wala dikhao. .” perfume wala :- bhosadi k ga#d me ungli dal ke sungh le.

Boy goes to a chemist- "Give me a condom. I'am going to my gf's house for dinner. Then he says "Give me 2 more. My gf's sis is a bomb 'n her mom is still hot." During dinner, her Dad walks in. Boy lowers his head 'n starts praying. 10 min 'n he is still praying, his head down. All are surprised. Girlfriend-" I never knew you are so religious" Boy-" I never knew your DAD IS A CHEMIST!!!!

A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "Fuck, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don't use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his second shot. Again he missed and under his breath he said, "I fuck'n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don't use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn't help mutter, "Oh fuck'" The priest said, "That's it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance the GOD said, "FUCK, I Missed". P.S:->This khatta is meant for fun only. No intention to hurt any religion or religious feelings.

Before sex girl asked her boyfriend "what are we going to name our child?" Boy wore three condoms & said "iske baad bhi ho gya to Rajnikant..."

Ek panditiji ka tota raste se gujarte hue ek aadmi ko bohot galiyan deta tha. Roj-roj galiyan sun ke wo pareshaan ho gya & ek din usne panditji se shikayat ki. Panditji ne tote ko bohot datan. Agle din jab wo addmi fir us tote ke paas se gujra to tote ne kuch nahi kaha. Aadmi wapas aaya aur tote se bola, aaj tune gali nahi di... Tota bola: "Samajh to tu waise bhi gya hi hoga"...:)

Old one....and long one too.. Ek bahut hi harami launda tha jo baat baat per gaaliyan deta tha. Ek din uske mohalle walo ne haj yatra per jaane ka plan banaya per usko include nahi kiya, wo mukhiya ke paas gaya aur haj pe jaane ki permission mangi, mukhiya ne mana kar diya , after repeated requests mukhiya ne kaha ki we will watch you for five days, Agar tum paanch din me dikha dete ho ki tum sudhar gaye ho to hum tumhe le chalege. So for next five days he did not abuse anyone , aur haj yatra me shamil ho gaya. Beech me raat ho gayi to unhone ek jagah dera daala, aur time paas karne ke liye kuch kawali ka programme kar liya Ladies ek taraf aur gents ek taraf. Harami lauda gents ka leader ban gaya (in kawali).. Harami launda: Hum jayenge hajrat ki nagri. Ladies: Hum bhi jayengi hajrat ki nagri. Launda:Hum jayenge sar ke bal hajrat ki nagri, Ladies:Hum bhi jayenge sar ke bal hajrat ki nagri, Launda:Mohtarma aap nahi ja sakti sar ke bal hajrat ki nagri, Ladies: Hum bhi jayengi. ...

At a bar, one patron to another: “Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink.” Why? “You’re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you” P.S. ->This khatta is meant for fun only,No intention to hurt anyone

Ek baar ek sharabi pee ke mandir ki sidio me gir jata hai.. Pujari: yahan kyon pade ho jaante nahi shivji ka mandir h shiv sabse bade hain. Sharabi: rahne de shivji agar sabse bada hai to parvat pe kyon pada Pujari: Chal tu parvat ko bada manle ab to nikal Sharabi: rehn de parvat bada to hanuman kyon le uda Pujari: chal hanumaan bada Sharabi: Hanumaan bada to Ram ke charno me kyon pada Pujari: Ram Bada Sharabi: Ram bada to uski bivi ko ravan kyon le uda Pujari Preshan hokar chal bhai tu hi batade kon bada Sharabi: Jo pee ke pada wohi sabse bada :D

A Negro wanted to go to a fancy dress party He told his Indian wife to get a costume Wife gets a snowman suit. Negro: wtf!!! U bloody Indian have u seen a black snowman! Get me another one. She gets a santa suit Negro: wtf!!! U bloody Indian! have u ever seen a black santa! Get another suit! Wife, gets pissed n brings bamboo Negro: what m I to do wid this? Wife: gaand mein daal aur chocobar banja bhenchod!!

Lines i learned at AIT and still use .. 1) bhassad main hain 2) Bhaut fight hai yaar 3) Fight maar raha/rahi hain 4) gucchi and pondy .... 5)funta ,funty If there are other do add :P

मार्च क्लोजिंग स्पेशल: बॉस लड़की के साथ कर रहा था! सहायक: वाह बॉस, अकेले -अकेले! हमारा नंबर कब आयेगा? बॉस: बस लड़की के बाद तुम्हारा ही नंबर है!

Little Johnny came home early from school and started calling his mother with no answer. He finally went up stairs and saw the bedroom door was open a little. When he peered in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid so he quietly went outside and waited for his mother. When she showed up with some groceries, he said “Mommy, Mommy guess what I saw? I saw daddy upstairs on the bed with the maid and they were…….” And his Mother said, “Stop right there, Johnny”. Wait until supper tonight when the maid is serving the meal. When I wink at you, and then tell me the story.” At supper when all were seated and being served by the maid, she winked and Johnny began again. “Mommy, when I got home from school early today, I was looking for you and saw daddy on the bed with the maid. They were doing the same thing that I saw you and Uncle Phil doing at the cottage last summer.”

Miya Ghalib garibi se tang akr Daku bn gaya. Daketi krne Bank gye or kaha. Arj hai,Takdir me jo h whi milega, Hands Up madarchodo koi apni jagah se nhi hilega. Fir cashier se kaha...kuch khawab meri aankho se nikaal do Jo kuch b hai bhosadi ke jaldi se is bag mai dal do. Bhula de mujhko kya jata h tera, Mai ma chod dunga, jo kisi ne peecha kiya mera

Miya Ghalib garibi se tang akr Daku bn gaya. Daketi krne Bank gye or kaha. Arj hai,Takdir me jo h whi milega, Hands Up madarchodo koi apni jagah se nhi hilega. Fir cashier se kaha...kuch khawab meri aankho se nikaal do Jo kuch b hai bhosadi ke jaldi se is bag mai dal do. Bhula de mujhko kya jata h tera, Mai ma chod dunga, jo kisi ne peecha kiya mera

टीचर ने गोलू से कहा- ‘मामूली’ शब्द को वाक्य में इस्तेमाल करो। गोलू ने बहुत देर सोचने के बाद जवाब दिया- मेरी ‘मां मूली’ बड़े शौक से खाती है।

911 member :D

911 member :D

911 member :D

911 member :D