KhattaCorp

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you leave her a virgin.

Judge: why you want divorce? Man: she does not satisfy me in bed. Judge: its true madam? Lady: admit, whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problem.

Teacher: What is your caste? Student: Pehle hum Singh they, Phir Rajput hue, Phir Sharma ho gaye, Abhi hai Darzi.... Aaage Mummy ki marzi :)

Dekh tere Lawde ki haalat kya ho gayi insaan, Usme bachi nahi ab Jaan, Boobs dikhaaye, Chut dikhayi Aur Dikhaayi Gaand, Phir bhi Utha nahi . . . SULTAN" xD ;)) :p =D =))

Apne Dil Ko Behlao Cigarete Jalao Sutta Lagao Aanso Aankhon Men Chupao Cigarete Jalao Sutta Lagao Kuch Nahi Milta Ishq Men Siwaye Is K Ghum Ki Barish Men Nahao Cigarete Jalao Sutta Lagao Chhor Do Ye Raaton Ko Der Tak Jaagna Us Ki Yaad Dil Se Mitao Cigarete Jalao Sutta Lagao Ishq Men Hamesha Be Wafai Hi Milti Hai ;*”MERE GAANDU YAARO”*; Ye Baat Zehen Men Bithao Cigarete Jalao Sutta Lagao Dedicate To All Sutte Baaz Aashiq..

Boss was fucking a woman employee in his office in doggie style, when another employee walkd in... Guy: Wah sir..! Akele akele..! Hamara number kab aayega..? Boss (without stopping): Agar march ka target pura nahin hua bhosdi ke, to agla number tera hi hai.

Sex without condoms is Magical, A baby appears and the father disappears. :p

I was once chatting with a friend (girl) on fb, she asked ‘chutiya hai kya?’ and without even thinking i replied ‘tu hogi..:P’ after 3-4 mins she replied ‘i was asking about holidays’ .. us din ke baad se, i rarely talk to her.. XD

Govt allowed the legal sex of age 16........ Condom companies are planning for new two flavors:- Bornvita flavor and Rasna flavor...

A girl went to introduce the man she wanted to get married to, Father: "So you want to marry my daughter,what do you do for a living?" Man: "I just got out of prison,I will search for a job soon" Father: "Whaaaat......!!!!!! You were in prison and you want to marry my daughter with that bad record What did you do?" Man: "I killed a person" Father: "What did the person do?" Man: "He denied me to marry his daughter" Father: "Welcome to the family son" :P :D

A girl went to introduce the man she wanted to get married to, Father: "So you want to marry my daughter,what do you do for a living?" Man: "I just got out of prison,I will search for a job soon" Father: "Whaaaat......!!!!!! You were in prison and you want to marry my daughter with that bad record What did you do?" Man: "I killed a person" Father: "What did the person do?" Man: "He denied me to marry his daughter" Father: "Welcome to the family son" :P :D

It's not good to pull someone's leg every time, spread them sometime.

Class Mein Aaye Naye Bache Se Madam Ne Puchha Madam: “ Tumhara Kya Naam Hai?” Student: “ Lassanmal Aamirbhai Uday Das Aadwani” Madam: “ Lamba Hai Short Mein Batao?” Student: “ L A U D A“

Husband & Wife dono market gaye to Ek Ladki ne HELLO kiya ... . . . Wife: kaun thi wo? :O . . . . . . . Husband: Tum plz dimag kharab matkro, abhi usko b batana hai ki tum kaun ho? ;) :)

Wife was sure that her husband was having sex with the maid so she laid a trap. One evening she sent the maid home for weekend & didn't tell husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave old story. "Excuse me my dear, my stomach is aching & went to bathroom." The wife promptly went into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. He came in silently, he wasted no time on words but quickly started having sex. When he finished, wife said, you didn't expect me in this bed, did you?.... & switched on the light. No Madam, said the Watchman. MORAL: Sometimes getting too smart can get you screwed! :P :D

Sardar red light area gaya. Wahan dalal ne sabhi ladkiyon k nam car k nam pe rakhe the. Dalal-Kaun si chahiye, Honda-Rs.10,000 Ford-Rs.8000 Hundai-Rs.6000 Maruti-Rs.4000, ya Tata nano-Rs.200 ? Sardar ne nano ka order diya, dalal ne jab hinjda dikhaya to sardar bola bhenchod ye kya.. :O Dalal-sir nano ka engine pichhe hota hai." xD :O =P :D

Three women sat discussing their husbands and their sex lives. "My husband's a wrestler," said the first. "He's really strong and aggressive in bed." "My husband's an artist," said the second. "He's really gentle and sensitive." "My husband's an IBM salesman," said the third. "He sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be when I finally get it."

WARNING Warning about e-bay Be careful what you buy on eBay. If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully. A friend (Mr. India ) has just spent Rs. 4500 plus Tax on a penis enlarger. The bastards sent him a magnifying glass!!! The only instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight."

1 Mandir ki diwar pe lika tha agr gunah kr k thak gaye ho to andr ajao, Niche 1 ladki Lipstick se likh gai Agr nahi thake to mandir Ke piche aa jao.

Ek ladki ne jor se kaha Abdul teri maa ka bhosda, madarchod... Paas khade sadhu ne kaha beti aisa nahi bolte hai, kya baat hui. Ladki boli-usne mere boobs dabaye. Baba ne boobs dabakar kaha - aise dabaye.. Ladki - haa baba, phir usne mere kapde khole. Baba ne uske kapde kholkar bole -aise. Ladki - haa baba Baba - is par gali dena shobha nahi deta. Ladki - phir usne mujhe litakar chod diya. Baba ne chodkar bole aise choda. Ladki - haa baba Baba - isme bhi gali dena shobha nahi deta. Ladki - baba usne chodne ke bad bataya ki use aids hai. Baba :- abdul madarchod..... Teri maa ka bhosda...

Women are the best vehicles in the world because:- ---2 beautiful headlights in the front ---2 great bumpers at the back ---Self -lubricating when hot ---Finger touch ignition ---Automatic engine oil change every month ---Any type of piston fits. ---Multiple seating styles & adjustments ----Great accessories ---Highest mileage 9months with just 5ml refill ---That's why MEN are dying to own one :p

College Mein Ek Master Lecture Ke time pe Sex Ki Baatein Karne Lag Jaata Tha. Ladkiyo Ne Is Cheez Se Tang Aakar Ek Din Faisala Kiya Ki Agar Kal Fir Se Aisa Hua To Wo Class Chhod Kar Chali Jayengi, Master Ko Kisi Tarah Se Is Baat Ka Pata Chal Gaya, Agle Din Usne Aram Se Lecture Shuru Kiya, Aur Achanak Bola. Master: “Tumhe Pata Hai Ki France Mein call girls Ki Kami Ho Gayi Hai” Ladkiyo Ne Ek Dusre Ko Dekha Aur Darwaze Se Bahar Jane Lagi, Ye Dekh Ke Master Hansa Aur Bola. Master: “Beth Jao – Beth Jao, Kal Tak Koi France Ki Flight Nahi Hai“ !!

This guy goes to the zoo one day. While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "F**k you!" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whippe...

young woman was impressed by the massive Texan in the bar. "Pardon me, sir, but can I ask about the measurements of your chest. I am amazed." "Well, thank you, ma'am. It's 33 inches." "Wow, around?" "No, ma'am. Through." "Well, then, sir. What about your waist?" "It's 28 inches." "Around?" "No, ma'am. Through." "Well, then. One last question. What about the size of your manhood." "You see, ma'am. It's 3 inches!" "Wow," said the woman. "Through?!" "Oh, no, Ma'am. From the floor!!

A Boy touched his Girlfriend..! Girl said: "Don't touch me..! All that only after Marriage..!!" Boy said: "OK ! Call me after your marriage..!!!" :D :P

Movie me emotional scene chal raha tha ke ek chota bachha jor jor se rone laga ... Pichhe se awaaj ayi " are madam aapka ek bubba iske mu me thoos do ..." bache ka baap ghussa hua aur chillaya " kaun hai be madarchoddd ???" Firse awaaj ayi "Dusra iske mu me bhi thooos do .."

meri ek choti si aakhri khwaish – iss duniya se judaa hone pe... Mujhe jala dena ya dafna dena, mere jaane par aasoon mat bahana.... maru to 1 ghoot beer pila dena, yaad mein meri ye baat yaad rakhna... dosti k naaam pe mein tajmahal nahi chahta dosto, . . . .. . . .. meri kabr par girls hostel bana dena!! :xD :P

Smallest joke.. Girl : Hey! How r u doing these days ? Boy : By hand ;) Shortest joke : Girl : Fuck you >:O Guy : Promise kar..;)

Santa ne blade se apni girlrfrd ka naam hath par likha. 5 min baad jor jor se rone laga. Banta: kyu rote ho.? Santa: bhench*d LADO ki jagah LODA likh liya.

Gand Pe Muhavre: 1.Gand Khujana : Chinta Karna 2.Gand Ghisna. : Mehnat karna 3.Gand Dikhana :Musibat Se bhagna 4.Gand Me Ungli Karna. : samasya Paida Karna. 5.Gand Jalna. : Irshya Karna 6.Gand Fatna. : Darr Jana 7.Gand Maarna. : Dushmani Nikalna 8.Gand Marwana. : Gulami Karna 9.Gand Me Titar Ka Bal : Bahut Zyada Active Hona. 10.Gand Pe LaatMaarna : Reject Karna 11.Gand Me Ghusna. : Chamcha Giri Karna 12.Gand Me Kida Hona : yeh to aap samajhate hi ho.... :P

Example Of A Short, Sweet and Meaningful Answer Girl: “Hey! How Are You Doing These Days? Boy: “By Hand“

Palat kar dekh aye hasina, hum bhi seene mein dum rakhte hain, Agar tu rakhti hai bra mein do bum, to hum bhi chadhdhi mein gun rakhte hain.

Girl to Doctor: Sir, Pichle Abortion Mein Aapne Balade Mere Peat Mein He Chhod Diya Tha Doctor: Oh, I am sorry, Kuch Hua toh nahi na? Girl: Hua Na! Doctor: Kya?? Girl: Mere 7 boyfriend namard ho gaye! 4 gunge ho gaye! Aur 2 ki toh Oongli he cut gayi :D = :p

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary. Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future. After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

एक बार एक शिक्षक कक्षा में बच्चों को हिंदी पढ़ाने जाते हैं। शिक्षक: बच्चों अब आप सब मुझे हिंदी का एक एक दोहा सुनाओगे, तो चलो बंटी तुमसे शुरू करते हैं। बंटी: मास्टर जी चिड़िया बैठी पेड़ पर उसने दिया मूत, पप्पू की माँ की चूत। बंटी की बात सुन शिक्षक भी जोर-जोर से हंसने लग पडा और पप्पू का मज़ाक उड़ाने लगा, और बंटी को शाबाशी देते हुए पप्पू से बोला, "हाँ भाई पप्पू है कोई बंटी की बात का जवाब तेरे पास अगर है तो बोल।" अपना मज़ाक उड़ता देख पप्पू को गुस्सा आ गया तो वह बोला, "मास्टरजी कबूतर बैठा पेड़ पर और उसने दिया मूत, बंटी की माँ लौड़ा . . . शिक्षक: अरे यह भी कोई बात बनी इस दोहे का तो कोई सिर पैर ही नहीं है। पप्पू: अरे मास्टर जी आपने अभी पूरा सूना ही कहाँ है ज़रा ध्यान दीजिये, " कबूतर बैठा पेड़ पर और उसने दिया मूत, बंटी की माँ का लौड़ा और मास्टर की माँ की चूत।

Husband: “Honey, Why Is Broken Condom Lying On The Sofa?” Wife Tensed: “Where?” She Goes Out To Check And Returns Wife: "For God Sake Stop Calling Our Son A Broken Condom"

Ek Banda ek Ladki ko cafe mein akele baitha dekh kar ladki ki table par gaya aur kaha: "kya main aap ke saath baith sakta hoon??" Ladki (Chillai): nahin, main aaj raat tumhare saath nahin guzaar sakti... !!!! sab log dekhne lage....Banda sharminda ho gaya.... kuch der baad Ladki uske paas gayi aur maafi mangi aur kaha: "Main HUMAN NATURE ke upar study kar rahi hoon aur padh rahi hoon ke log sharminda ho kar kya mehsoos karte hai" Banda(Chillaya): What...?? 10 Hazar ek raat ke.. bahut zyada hain,.. kuch kam karo yaar.... sab log ladki ko dekhkar hasne lage.... Aur phir Jaat aahista se bola: - " Ab mehsoos kar khul ke....!!!!

Rajnikant won the gold for just sitting in the crowd in the London Olympics 2012.

A man was having sex with his boss wife at her house When suddenly thieves broke in. The man went out of the house running as fast as he could to his house. When he arrived home, his wife asked, "why are you naked ??"..... The man replied, "well, i was attacked by thieves on my way home, they took everything from me".... Wife,"so why is a condom on your penis ??".... Man, "well, as a grown up man, i couldn't run home completely naked. i had to cover some parts."

“Vanilla” comes from the Latin word “vagina”. Source- What The Fuck Facts

a guy goes to a doctor and says...doctor i want to get castrated. the Doc says: young lad are you sure..is a major life altering operation u better be sure about it.... the guy assures the doc that it is exactly what he wants... 3 days later he is walking in the ward with his legs wide open and he finds another guy walking in the opposite direction but in the same awkward manner. the guy says: hey buddy u got the same operation done as i did? the other guy says: i dont know..i just got a circumcision... the first guy goes::SHITTT!! that was the word!!!

An engineer ws gettin married. 3 young ladies offrd 2 marry him. He hd 2 make choice, so he tested dem by givng 50k each 2 spend. 1 bought new dresses n said she wantd 2 luk gud 4 him. 2nd got him few shirts & ties n perfumes n said she wantd him 2 luk gud. 3rd investd d money in shares. Got profit & returned him original amt, sayin dat she saved d rest for deir future. finally he decided 2 marry d lady who hd D bigger boobs!! Men will be men:-P

Why are Indian students are disliked in USA? It was the first day of a school in the USA & a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade classroom... The teacher said: Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'? He saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up & said: Patrick Henry, 1775! "Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?'' Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar: Abraham Lincoln, 1863! The teacher snapped at the class: Class! You should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do. She heard a loud whisper: F*** the Indians! 'Who said that?', she demanded. Chandrasekhar: General Custer, 1862. At that point, a student in the back said: I'm gonna puke! The teacher glares around & asks...

A hippie sits nxt 2 a nun on the bus n asks her if he could have sex with her. She said "NO! I am married to god !!" and gets off the bus disgusted. The bus driver said "she(nun) prays every tuesday at midnight at the grave-yard, why dnt u dress up in a hooded robe, go to the grave-yard, tell her you are god n demand sex?". The hippie tries dis and to his surprise the nun said " yes but only if we have anal sex as i want to keep my virginity". they have passionate bum sex and wen dey were done the hippie throws off his robe and cries " ha ha ha, i'm the hippie,!!!!!!. the nun cries out " ha ha ha, i'm the BUS DRIVER !!!!!!!".

Ek Din Santa Ne Banta Se Puchha: “ Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Mein Kya Farak Hai? ” Banta: “ Yaar Jyada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain .”

Baba Ramdev: Beta, hamesha apne se badi ko Maa, choti ko beti aur barabar wali ko bhan samjho. Santa: Baba fir ye lund tum rakh lo, Baba Ramdev: Kyo Beta Santa: jadi-buti kutne k kaam aayega.

Ghalib ne aik Larki ko periods may dekha tu Arz kia, Shalwar k nechey se tapak k pani Laal aata hai, Kamal ho gia Ghalib, Kia Ander b koi Paan khata hai

1 ladki k paas ek unknown call aayi.. . . . Ladka:"do u have a bf.. ?? . . Ladki:"yes... b ut who are u..?? . . Ladka:"tera bhai.. ru­k ghar aa k batata hu.. . . . After few second once again unknown call . . . . Ladka:"do u have a bf.. ?? . . Ladki:"no i dont.. :( . . Ladka:"to mai kon hu.. ?? :/ . Ladki:"ohh sorry jaanu mainesocha bhai hai.. :( . . . . . Ladka:"mai bhai hi hu....:/ :@ "bas aaj to tu gayi....

How do girls msg their friends after a long time- Hey ! Where r u dear ? It's been so long since v met, I really Miss those times v spend together, everything's fine na ? :( :* ♥ How do boys msg their friends after a long time- BhoSsdi ke kahan rehta hai aajkal ?? Tu to milne b nhi ata, Behnch*d teri shakal tak bhul gaya main toh,Wo to aaj susu karte waqt meri nazar L pe gayi to teri shakal yad aa gyi, Sab theek toh hai na lodu ?Kaisa hai bhai..?? :D

Chuha ped pe chad gaya. Monkey : ped pe kyun aaya. Chuha : arre chiku khane aya hu yaar. Monkey : chodu ye toh aam ka ped hai. Chuha : zindagi me ek baat yad rakhna bhosdike, majdoor ko khodna aur Baap ko chodna mat sikha..main chiku sath laya hu lavde..=))

INDIAN MOM- just can't beat her!!!!!!!! A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner....who lives with a room mate, a girl named Soniya During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than what met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Soniya and I are just roommates." About a week later, Soniya came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure...." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother: I'm not ...

Boss : Let me fuck u once, I'll b quick & pay u 1000. I'll throw the money on the floor & b4 u bend down & pick it up all, I'll b done! Secretary likes the proposal & She calls her BF. BF: Its fine, but ask for 2000 & b very quick 2 pick the money. Aftr 4 hrs BF calls her. BF: What happend? GF: That Bastard is still fucking me. He brought Coins! Lesson: Investments are subject 2 market risks. Please read the offer documents carefully before investing....

Why Condoms Come In Boxes Of 3, 6, And12… A man walks into a drug store with his 10-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,"What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factl ­y replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,"Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.." "Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWOfor Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, pickingup a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,...

one day the Teacher asked d class 1 students about there future plan... Lil john raised his hand Teacher ..yes john wts ur plan Lil john : I want to be stinking rich ...clubbing everyy day...boozing, dancing,smoking..*beer* moving around with lil bitches and gifing them diamonds ,villas, a private jet... And make love with her thrice a dayy.♥♥ Teacher thot it wz a waste to tell john ..he is a spoilt brat so she ignores3-| and asked lucy - u tell Lucyy- I wanna b lil johns lil bitch...;;) =)) =D

GAND ke sath aksar ye ghatana ghat jati hai Wah wah! GAND ke sath aksar ye ghatna ghat jati hai. Musibat koso door hoti hai, BAHENCHOD. GAND Pahle Phat jati hai

Santa Ke Ghar Ek Kuttiya Thi Aur Vo Pregnant Thi, Santa Roj Bhagwan Se Prathna Karta Tha Ke: “Hey Bhagwan Kutta Ya Kuttiya Hi Ho” Banta Ne Ek Din Use Ye Kahte Suna To Badi Hairani Se Bola. Banta: “Abe Is mein Mangne Wali Kya Baat Hai? Kutta Ya Kutti Hi To Honge” Santa Sharmate Hue: “Nahi Yaar, Beech-Beech Mein Main Bhi Pange Le Liya Karta Tha“

Hum ne to wafa ki thi par usne hi dil "TODA MERA " . phir 1 din us ne pucha hamari yad ati hai hum ne be likh dia "LODA MERA">=) =))

Couple silent in bed... Wife thinks : Why is he not talking to me? Is he thinking of another woman? Is he seeing someone? Don't I appeal to him anymore? Are wrinkles showing on my face? Is he trying to dump me? Is he now finding me ugly? Have I put on weight at the wrong places? Is he upset with my nagging? WHY IS HE UPSET? Husband thinks : . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dhoni ne last over Jadeja ko kyu di hogi...??

Son: Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl Father: "That's great son. Who is she? Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter" father: "Oh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister." The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later, Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!" Father: "That's great son, Who is she?" Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter, Father: "Oh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister." This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying. Son: "Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!" The mother hugshim affectionately and says: . . . . "My love, you can date whoever...

Girl- Mom I am Pregnant... Mom- Kya...Kaise? Girl- It was an Accident. Mom- Accident, kalmuhi.. sadak pe chalte chalte Lavde Pe gir gayi thi kya..!!

KAMINEY DOST!!! 4 Boys on bike... Police:- Triple riding is banned aur tum 4 baithe ho?? Boys shocked... . looks behind.. . and says:- saalo 5wa kaha gir gya...?? :P :D:D

Nasbandi Ki Team Ko Dubara Apne Village Mein Aayi Dekh Kar Ek Budha Hairani Se Bola: “In Logo Ne Connection To Pahle Hi Kat Diya Tha. Ab Kya Handset Bhi Le Ke Jayenge? “

SINGHAM Effect Dad: Result kya aaya....?? Boy: Aai chya gavat, fail ho gaya. Dad: Besharam! Nalayak.. Boy: Kuch bhi karne ka, Mera ego hurt nahin karne ka.! Dad: Aaj se teri pocket money band. Boy: Meri jaroorat kam hai, Isi liye meri zamir me dum hai. Dad: Get out. Boy: Aata Maaji satakli re Dad: Mujhe ab papa mat kehna. . . . Boy: Ae Gotya.. Gotya.. Gotya :D :p

AAJ KA SHUBH VICHAR : Girlfriend aisi ho jo aapke saath 4 Logo ke beech khadi ho sake, Na ki aisi ho ki jise dekh kar aapke saath 4 Logo ka khada ho jaaye.

INDIA TV's Breaking News : Ek chakke ne match jeeta diya! #INDvsPAK

A Beautiful Girl Is Like A Dirty Thousand Rupee Note . You Don't Know How Many Used It But you Still Want It.

Jhutha tha wo Dost..! . Jo kehta tha Jaan bhi mango to de denge. . . . . . . Aaj wo apni g.f. ko Jaan kehta hai : : Aur maango to kamina gaaliya deta hai.. :D

Before marriage in dabangg . . sonakshi ke nain : TERE MAST MAST DO NAIN. . . . . after marriage in dabangg 2 sonakshi ke nain: DAGABAJ RE HAYE TORE NAINA BADE DAGABAJ RE. . . . . . MORAL: shadi ke baad acche accho ki bhi ankhe khul jati hai. :D

Laloo was Standing at a bus Stop, Rakhi Sawant passes by & says : Dhoop me Kyun Khada hai.? Laloo: Kamaal hai, "Sasuri Dhoti ke Andar bhi Dekh Leti hai... xD xP

HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love. . . . . . . . . . . . . HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; Blow job xP xD xD xD

Laloo was Standing at a bus Stop, Rakhi Sawant passes by & says : Dhoop me Kyun Khada hai.? Laloo: Kamaal hai, "Sasuri Dhoti ke Andar bhi Dekh Leti hai... xD xP

Orignal hindi names of products: whisper - yoni ka rumal condom - ling ka moja i-pill - virya vinasha vati viagra - ling ki bijli bra - stan rakshak tambu...

Golu & Molu Bahut Achhe Dost Thhe Par Achanak Ek Hi Din Dono Mar Jate Hai Aur Ikathe Narak Mein Pahunchte Hai. Golu Ne Molu Ko Dekha Aur Hairan Hote Hue Pucha. Golu: “Abe Tu Kaise Mara?” Molu: “Thand Se, Aur Tu?” Golu: “Mene Aatam Hatya Ki” Molu: “Kyu Be, Tu To Achha Bhala Tha Aur Khusi Se Jee Raha Thha?” Golu: “Yaar, Mujhe Laga Meri Biwi Ka Kisi Se Affair Hai, Ek Din Shaq Hone Pe Chaapa Maara Par Koi Nahi Tha, Sharm Ke Mare Maine Aatm-Hatya Kar Li” Molu Ne Golu Ko Zor Se Thapad Mara Aur Bola. Molu: “Bhonsdi Ke Agar Fridge Khol Ke Dekha Hota, To Na Tu Sharm Se Marta Aur Na Mein Thand Se“

The Wife Came Home Early From Work And Found Her Husband In Bedroom Doing Love To A Very Attractive Young Woman. She Cried: “You Are A Disrespectful Pig! How Dare You Do This To Me — A Faithful Wife, The Mother Of Your Children! I’m Leaving You. I Want A Divorce Right Away!” Husband Replied: “Hang On Just A Minute Love So At Least I Can Tell You What Happened.” She Sobbed: “Fine, Go Ahead, But They’ll Be The Last Words You’ll Say To Me!” And The Husband Began – Well, I Was Getting Into The Car To Drive Home, And This Young Lady Here Asked Me For A Lift. She Looked So Down And Out And Defenseless That I Took Pity On Her And Let Her Into The Car. I Noticed That She Was Very Thin, Not Well Dressed And Very Dirty. She Told Me That She Hadn’t Eaten For Three Days. So, In My Compassion, I Brought Her Home And Warmed Up The Enchiladas I Made For You Last Night, The Ones You Wouldn’t Eat Because You’re Afraid You’ll Put On Weight. Since She Needed A Good Clean-Up, I Suggested A Shower, And Whi...

A Refrigerator Can Change A Liquid To Solid. A Stove Can Change A Liquid To Gas. But Only A Girl Can Change A Liquid To Baby.

We Will hang you If You Rape Our Daughters & Sisters -Manmohan Singh,Prime Minister . . . . . . . . . Next Khatta Kal !!!

HUSBAND WANTED A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to.get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED! MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray- hairedgentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!" She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

एक बार संता एक सवाल-जवाब प्रतियोगिता में भाग लेता है और अंतिम चरण तक पहुँच जाता है जहां पर कि प्रतियोगिता के आयोजक उस से कहते हैं, "संता जी अगर इस चरण में पूछे जाने वाले तीन सवालों के आपने सही जवाब दे दिए तो आप एक करोड़ रूपया जीत जायेंगे, तो क्या आप तैयार हैं ? संता: जी हाँ। आयोजक: आप अपने माता-पिता से ज्यादा प्यार करते हैं या अपनी प्रेमिका से? संता: जी अपने माता-पिता से? आयोजक: आप के ख्याल से इस दुनिया में एक इंसान के लिए पैसा ज्यादा ज़रूरी है या प्रेम? संता: जी प्रेम। आयोजक: आप किसी खूबसूरत लड़की के अन्दर सबसे ज्यादा क्या देखना पसंद करते हैं? संता: जी अपना लंड।

Ek aadmi jor jor se chilla raha tha. "NAAG ka Pinjra 20 Rs me" "NAAG ka Pinjra 20 Rs me" Logo ne paas jaakar dekha.. To kamina UNDERWEAR bech raha tha...:-):)

Pathan Apni Patni Se Puchta Hai. Pathan: “Kya Humari Jaan Aaj Hum Se Naraz Hai?” Patni Hairani Se: “Nahi To” Pathan: “To Phir Hamari Taraf Apna Muh Kar Ke Kyu Leti Hui Ho“

Ek Baar Ek Ladke Ne Apni Mummy Se Pucha: “Mummy Tum Har Roj Papa Ke Uper Chad Ke Jump Kyu Marti Ho?” Mummy: “Tere Papa Ke Pet Mein Bhari Hui Hawa Nikalne Key Liye!!” Ladka: “Koi Fayda Nahi Hai Mummy Apne Pados Wali Mallu Aunty Roj Aakar Apne Muh Se Dobara Hawa Bhar Jati Hai“

Doctor: Nurse, Tumne Bed No.5 Wale Patient Ka Blood Pressure Check Kiya ?? Nurse: Haan Doctor 4 Baar Blood Pressure Check Kar Chuki Hoon, Har Baar High Ho Raha Hai… Doctor: Kuch Sochne Ke Baad Bola: “Abki Bar Check Karo To Apni T-Shirt Ke Uper Ke Button Band Karke Check Karna“

BIWI-ah, uh, thoda aur, thoda aage, thoda left, thoda sa aur, bas bas thoda sa right aur PATI-Maa ki lodi chudwa rahi hai ya loda parking me lagwa rahi hai...

Rosy Aunty: Beta Mummy Ghr Pe H kya? Bachha Sprite Pite Hue: Apko Papa Se Chudwna H Na.? Aa jao. Papa Ghar Pe H. Sidhi baat. No Bawkas

Admi Apni Bivi K Samne Muth Mar Raha Tha. Bivi Apni Choot Pe Hath Ferte Hue Boli - Haaye Ram, Samne Washing Machine Hai or Koi Hath Se Kapde Dho Raha Hai !

Santa ki sadi hui suhag rat ke waqt wo apni bibi ko piche se karne laga bibi-suniye ji aage se karte hai. Santa-tumhe kaise pata. Bibi-jab me college me thi mujhe gunde utha kar le gaye the unho ne aage se kiya tha. Santa-sale ye gunde bahut confuse karte hai jab mujhe le gaye the piche se kiya tha.

Call Girl Ne Arz kiya: 'Dheere-Dheere' Karo Sanam, Mandi Ka Zamana Hain.IsS Chhoti Si JAGAH Se Zindagi Bhar Kamana Hai" ,,, (",)) (';')__//\\ _/_/

Chota kid apni pant kholkr Gf se-tere pas h kya aisa wala? Ldki-apni skirt kholi aur muskurte hue kaha Maa ne kaha h aisa wala h to waisa wala boht milega :D $!

Best Reply Given by a true Friend when asked to Pay the bill of Canteen... . . . . . . ('.') _/'!'\_ Lauda Le Le Bhosdike :D :P :P

you know you have been watching too much porn when you enter the blazers section in a mall and read "all brazzers, 20% off!!!"

Girl :-: What do you prefer? Breasts or Legs?? Santa :-: Choot..!!! Girl slapped & said :-: Tu randi khaane mein nahi hai bhosdike,yeh KFC ka counter hai"

New awareness slogan on World AIDS Day... Zindagi Na Milegi Dubara Always Use a Gubbara...

Ek Ladki Khushi Khusi Se Apni Maa Ke Room Mein Aayi Aur Boli Ladki: “Maa Tumne Kaha Tha Na…” Maa: “Kya Kaha Tha Beti” Ladki: “Ke Mard Ke Dil Mein Jane Ka Rasta Ankhon Se Hokar Jata Hai?” Maa: “Haan?” Ladki: “Lekin Maa, Kal Raat Mene Dusra Rasta Bhi Dhoond Liya!“

Lady: Do you smoke? Man: Yes Lady: How many packs a day? Man: 3 packs Lady: How much per pack Man: Rs. 100.00 Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Man: 15 years Lady: So 1 pack cost Rs. 100.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at Rs. 9000. In one year, it would be Rs. 1,09,500 correct? Man: Correct Lady: If in 1 year you spend Rs. 1,09,500 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at Rs. 16,42,500 correct? Man: Correct Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? Man: Do you smoke? Lady: No Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari then?

Ladkion Ki Shadi Jab Hoti Hai To Unki Friends Unki Suhag Raat Pe Apni Friend Se Kya Kahti Hain? 1980: “Dulha Bhai Jo Kare, Unko Kar Lene Dena” 1990: “Jo Bhi Ho Bardaasht Kar Lena, Rokna Mat!” 2000: “Fikar Na Kar Yaar, Tujhe To Sab Pata Hai!” 2010: “Yaar Koi Naya Style Pata Chale To Mujhe Bhi Batana Plz“ add me

Teacher: “Ladkiayn Kab Badi Hoti Hai?” Boys: “Jab Wo Bra Pehan Ne Lgti Hai..!” Teacher: “Ladke Kab Bade Hote Hai?” Girls: “Jab Wo Bra Utarne Lage“

In Biology Class Test, First Question Is: Question: “ Mention 3 Benefits Of Cucumber?” All Girls Answered 1. No Fear Of Pregnancy 2. No Chance Of HIV-Aids 3. No Need Of A Partner

Rajnikant's Power Talwar Baazi Ke Muqabley Me.. 1 Chines Ne Baal Ke Do Tukde Kar Diye.. 1 Japnies Ne Udti Hui Makhi Ki Gardan Kaat Di.. Rajnikant Ne Machar Udaya..Talwaar Ghumayi But Machar Udta Hi Raha.. Japnis: Machar To Ud Rha Hai.. Rajnikant Muskurate Hue Bola: Udd To Raha Hai.., But Kabi Baap Nahi Ban Payegaaa...!! ;-)

Ek Budhe Aadmi Ne Socha Ki Meri Biwi Ko Shayad Sun Na Kam Ho Gaya Hai So Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Din Uske Piche Gaya Aur Bola Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?” Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Thoda Sa Aur Aage Gaya Aur Fir Bola Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?” Is Bar Bhi Koi Jawab Nahi Aya, Vo Bilkul Uske Kareeb Chala Gaya Aur Bola Buddha: “Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun Rahi Ho?” Budhi Chillate Hue: “Bhonsdi Ke, Ye Teesri Baar Haan Bol Rahi Hu“

Baba Ramdev Ji Ek Din Yoga Karate Hue Logo Ko Samjha Rahe Thhe Ramde: “Aj Ki Aurat Itne Kam Kapde Pehnti Hai Ki Taange, Peeth, Pura Badan Nanga Dikhta Hai, Yaha Tak Ki Bra Tak Kapdo Ke Ander Se Dikhti Hai” Bheed Mein Se Santa Ki Awaj Aayi: “Baba Ji Aap Yoga Karvao, Lund Khada Mat Karvao“